monterey

SoCal .:R32's Fastivus 2009

getting old

today i told my dad that i don't want to live a long life. i don't want to suffer any ailments, i don't want to be the elderly person that gets honked at for driving too slowly, i don't want to feel limited in my life because of my physical condition. my dad laughed and said, "everyone says that but once you're at that age, all you want to do is live longer".

that goes for every stage in life. you set goals or expectations but once you're at that milestone, all you want to do is extend that timeline because you don't feel ready. it's not what you expected it to be which throws everything off. in college, you can't wait to graduate and get a real job, to earn a salary and have that financial freedom. but once you do, you hate it so much and wish you were back in college, not having to work those long hours, five days a week.

i've realized that it's hard for me to know what i really want in the future because i'm not there yet. there's no way of knowing what to expect or to project what i'll want then. who knows how i'll be feeling even one year from now? i just have to go with what i'm feeling at the moment since that's all i have that's real...i think.

if it's yellow let it mellow. if it's brown flush it down.

guilty pleasures

there are old school songs that become classics over time that people can listen to over and over and still feel the flow of the lyrics, the groove of the melody, just the perfection of everything put together. you find yourself bobbing your head to the beat whenever it comes on, singing along and maybe even playing some air guitar or air drums when appropriate. but there are also songs that you love just as much that aren't classics. you have no idea why you like them but for some reason, you know every single lyric including all the "la la la's". these are the songs that you're embarrassed to love. these are the songs that, in a car full of people, you skip immediately when they come up on your ipod. but how come these are the same songs that, in a room full of people, are the number one picks for karaoke? these songs are like the perfect crowd pleasing songs. when "bye bye bye" comes on, you see everyone get all riled up and cheer in excitement. it doesn't matter who has the mic because everyone's singing along so loud there's no point of using one.

i find it interesting that one craves different songs in different settings. a song i was jamming to in the car earlier isn't necessarily the same song i want to listen to in my room that same day. i think it's because songs are desirable depending on what mood you're in and what that song provides you. and your mood can change depending on the environment you're in...just like with those karaoke songs. it just depends.

my string of pearls

4 months.