today i told my dad that i don't want to live a long life. i don't want to suffer any ailments, i don't want to be the elderly person that gets honked at for driving too slowly, i don't want to feel limited in my life because of my physical condition. my dad laughed and said, "everyone says that but once you're at that age, all you want to do is live longer".
that goes for every stage in life. you set goals or expectations but once you're at that milestone, all you want to do is extend that timeline because you don't feel ready. it's not what you expected it to be which throws everything off. in college, you can't wait to graduate and get a real job, to earn a salary and have that financial freedom. but once you do, you hate it so much and wish you were back in college, not having to work those long hours, five days a week.
i've realized that it's hard for me to know what i really want in the future because i'm not there yet. there's no way of knowing what to expect or to project what i'll want then. who knows how i'll be feeling even one year from now? i just have to go with what i'm feeling at the moment since that's all i have that's real...i think.
1 comment:
When I was little, I told my mom the same thing and that I'd kill myself before I got old. She then asked me what age I'd kill myself at and I said 30 :)
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